my personal diary

“I am grateful to the world and its people, for if it hadn’t been so as it has been, a series of waves, turbulences, undercurrents of anger, betrayal and the feeling of being pushed; if it hadn’t been for poking me, hurting me, challenging me, I wouldn’t have been toppled from my ever slumbering fairy-tale of a quiet and relatively prolonged childhood and dragged into a relatively mature and pragmatic world that would pierce me like thorns, undesired yet no way out, until it enraged me so much so as to scream loud enough with affirmation to build a body of steel, focus on one dream, that one achievement that will accomplish everything that comes in my life. This is my mission. And I am a missionary. I salivate in hunger to achieve my goals. It is a slap back at whatever it is that played around with me.

Was it my fate unfolding.

Whom am I slapping back?

Myself?

What deeds unfolded that dragged me into this?

I need to clear my head, resolve these issues. A child in me is hurt. I am doing whatever I am to empower this child so no one can hurt him, topple him ever again. It sounds revengeful but I hurt no one. I keep everything to myself and probably hurt myself further. Is it time to release? Is it time yet to show off? Is it time I show to the world that this child has grown up? You cannot toy with him anymore. He is secure. He is ever-growing. He has that power that shields him from any blow? He doesn’t want to cry. He wants his peace back. He wants his childhood back. He wants the good things in life back. Simple little good things is all his life is about.

He wants to prove that he can and go back to where he was. Ever happy and playing in his world. That’s all he wants. And a happy world.”

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