The blissful abyss Pt. 1

I am in a conundrum. With hair and limbs floating in the sea of nothingness. There is no apothecary to alleviate the feeling of not having you in the present moment, no materia medica to sooth the nostalgia. No potion to undo the scar.

It is true that you can have the clearest picture by considering all sides of the story. This is mine and a long one. So I can finish my moment and you can hear it out. Then you may respond. This is one such thought that crosses my mind.

You are but a shadow, an idea of a beautiful reality, the perfect world. I would like to think it is a possibility. As I sink into this abyss under the dark void with my limbs and hair floating, as I look up into the nothingness, it is calm. I can only sink further from hereon, into an endless loop of these thoughts.

My mind will try to process this feeling for aeons in this plane of existence. Only I exist in this space as only I understand and observe. An imprint of your silhouette, an idea of a girl from a novel, a girl from a reel, an idea of a mountain girl. Is it the idea that has besotted me? Are you just that, a silhouette but not a manifestation of it? This is one more such thought that crosses my mind.

I am on an island. Our friends are all here surrounding us. We are celebrating as you wear the white flower I picked for you from the bouquet. There is that perfect place, the perfect home, the perfect image of my life. I am happy. This is another such thought that crosses my mind.

As I continue to sink in, I feel better to let it out.

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